Sniff.....

So this is what has been keeping me pretty busy the past couple of weeks.

The Going Out of Business Sale at the yarn store where I have worked, taught classes, and spent a lot of time, energy (and money!) for the past 2 years.

How is one supposed to feel at a time like this?

Sorrow? ... certainly.
Anger? ...yep, a bit of that....long story.
Relief? ... oh yeah, that too....(part of that same "long story" mentioned above)
Denial? ... definitely...it's hard to believe it's come to this.

Next Wednesday is going to be a hard day to get through. Seeing the doors close, knowing that so much of myself that I poured into that shop will be left to settle along with the dust on the floor.

All of us who worked (and played), taught (and learned) within those four walls have become close...kindred spirits...working against the odds to nurture something which probably never really had fighting chance to grow.

Will we find (or make) the time to seek each other out after this is over? To spend time in each others' company, now that the very thing that knit us together has become unravelled? I hope so. Will our friendships become UFOs? I hope not. I hope all the things we said we'd do together in the future really end up happening. I don't want to say good bye to my comrades on top of saying good bye to the shop.

It has been a challenging time for all of us. We have each grown in so many ways. Pushed ourselves past what we thought we could do. It was during my time at Ewe 'n Hook that I started teaching, and then designing. How rewarding it is to have someone come in and look at your pattern, or the store sample, and say how much they like it...and the words come out of your mouth ..."Thanks! I designed that!" It makes me smile just thinking about how many times that has happened.

A lot of things were just dropped in our laps, and we handled it all. Maybe not in the very best way, but in the best way we could. We all put our hearts and souls into trying to make it work, even when we knew in our hearts it would never be.

So in less than 2 weeks, I will be without a LYS job. But what hurts more than that is the fact that I'll be without a place to drop in to see Chris or Jenny or Lynne or Rebecca or Amie or Delphine or Trudy....whoever is working that day, or just hanging out... to chat, or knit...

I'll be without a LYS. All other fiber sources are "not so local". Some of them I just won't go to, because they are not places I have been made to feel welcome or embraced, so how can one feel creative or inspired in such an environment? I will go the extra (many) miles to the stores who know how to treat their fiber-hoarding customers the way we always tried to treat ours. What is it about certain LYS owners or employees that makes them think that they can keep people coming back for more by ignoring them, or treating them with open rudeness and disdain? I will never understand that as long as I live.

So yes, I will be unemployed, but I will not be idle! First and foremost, I will enjoy summer with my kids. I will also become more focused on my business...working on a new website where I can bring together my patterns, my blog, and the other goodies I have for sale, all in one place. I have had a domain name for a couple of years now but have not put it to good use. Now is the time to do so. I will need a lot help with the techy end of it all, but I am excited to move in this direction, and hopefully be able pull in a little more income once this happens. I want it to look professional, but yet with a touch of whimsy. I'm hoping that along with some teaching gigs at the LYSs that I will set foot in, and some new designs, I'll be able to sell enough patterns (etc.) to contribute to the family funds without having to do something drastic like go back to work at Target! ACK!